Tuesday, October 18, 2016

A feeling in my GUT-What's in a name?


Where are you from? To give the answer 'Kent' promotes a sort of respect that you have done okay. To reply 'Gravesend' induces a flicker of sympathy hidden only in the faces of the Gemma Artertons of this world. (Brilliant actor is the implication as she hails from these parts).

According to Press reports a Whatshisname from the Tory B Council is proposing a name change to Gravesend Upon Thames (GUT). You don't think the record temperatures are getting to him do you? The town like the Royal family it seems needs a fillip, historically having been full of 'loathsome people' commensurate with being referred to as the 'armpit of Kent'.

Voting figures do much to counter such suggestions as with Gravesham being part of the blue blue grass of Kent in Parliamentary terms. 'Pelham' has been for me a sort of sanctuary with the ward continuing to be held by Labour and with moi and my future wife living in the road in our early days in Gravesend. The house (She was upstairs, I was downstairs but not in an Upstairs Downstairs sort of way) is now an old folks home which if you like things going full circle is where we could end up.

I'm not sure what the fees are. Not on a par I hope to those being charged to the family of a ninety year old neighbour who has been daft enough to save rather than go on lots of cruises and own his own house. He couldn't stay put as he couldn't get up the stairs to go to the loo.

Over £1100 a week it costs. Yes-a week. No exclamation mark needed. I used to give him a lift to the polling station coincidentally negating my vote. Did either of us vote for the position he is in now? Sir Richard Acland would turn in his Grave.

I am no stranger to such town and county prejudice coming from Camborne in Cornwall. Although having a hill that you can go both up and down it was always looked down upon by many Illogan (post Demelza) residents. At least I can stare with pride at my 'I love Camborne' car sticker gazumped by Cameron & Osborne once again thanks to Brexit as I fill up with pricier petrol.

I have been over on the ferry to Tilbury on 5 occasions since this time last year. Once to go on the 'Cruise to Nowhere' aboard the Marco Polo. Three times to take on board what was on offer during Estuary16 and once to suss out The Worlds End as a possible venue to meet my Essex cousins saving them and us the Dartford Crossing experience.

A clear view of Gravesend was there for all to see, except of course for those with second tunnel vision. If you were not part of any of these epic occasions download Countryfile from Sunday the 9th October and your eyes will be opened.

We couldn't return from 'The Cruise to Nowhere' on the ferry as it was undergoing essential maintenance. Instead of a freebie thanks to the bus pass ( A satisfying sigh of relief can be heard from Sir Richard) we had to pay £60 for a taxi. There were six of us so it was bearable. If we sound like skinflints you could be right as we booked through Groupon. Be careful though as we Theresa May be people who are just about making do.

The taxi driver from Essex was befuddled. He thought those who lived across the river were snobs. The conversations during the journey must have put him right on this. The fact that he didn't get a tip could like the ferry be taken either way. It couldn't have been his Estuary English as with my Cornish accent who am I to talk?

A relative of Gemma Arterton took us around the Port of London Authority as part of Estuary16. The two couples who accompanied us on the 'Cruise to Nowhere' each have a family member working for the PLA. If you've watched that Countryfile episode you'll know and appreciate what they do and the extent to which they do it.

Look carefully at the photograph. See where the pilot boat is? See the flag above at half mast? Well just have a think about that if you are into name calling or name dropping. RIP.






No comments: