There's No Such Thing as a Free Lunch

Not so I'm afraid. We struck gold with Maxwell's Silver Hammer. Fortunately we weren't attacked by the bronze statue further down the road. Instead he told me that The Great Ticketless British Public would soon become a misnomer.

The LOWLIFE E-Mail came today. It was more like a political manifesto monumentally praising itself for the fulfilment of its promises. It told me that I could enter the second phase of applications on Sunday as I was unsuccessful in the original application and I didn't apply for the second. Not quite the case. I seem to remember their website crashing for the latter preventing me from applying.

Notwithstanding Friday's fait accompli that the 47 000 Athletic tickets will be gone before my leg starts, nor the fact that I am unable to remind them of the impossibility of logging in at the crucial times as it is a no reply no return White Rabbit E-Mail, I intend to remain positive.

I will let my non-athletic fingers do the walking on Sunday provided they don't get bruised in my dropping, sorry I must be positive, in my taking of any catches at Eltham CC's non waterlogged pitch at SE9 2EL on Saturday.

I'd like to thank the ECB for letting us know about the second hand Ark that Lizzie inspected (See Photos) on Monday. She thinks it will fit the bill to transport Gravesend CC Shrimpers to and from away matches easily enough and reckons that the Captain's Cabin is perfect for post match analysis with the natty table specially designed to prevent the beer glasses from sliding off.

Hence if there are any villages in Kent that can offer our weak to medium side a game for Saturday 19th May please let me know as soon as possible so we can set sail.