Tess has passed away

Sadness reigns in our house though memories help mask the grief. She was born at, and all but died at our house with twelve short years in between.

It wasn't sudden. All that know a little knew she was on borrowed time. She kept going - right up to the last few days. Only last weekend she walked her usual couple of miles walk without complaint up and down Happy Valley with me and her two much loved midwives as companions. How I'll miss that little glance back every few yards to make sure we were keeping up. It was as if she didn't want us to know.

She knew; and so did we. We still went to the veterinary as anyone would do, as we couldn't know for sure, even though we did. They knew. We gave her a day's grace. She deserved more but compassion wouldn't - couldn't allow.

A last car trip with us to Canterbury, not a pilgrimage - more a treat down memory lane. She loved car journeys. So expectant, pleased even with the dullest of destinations. She loved our three year old granddaughter, and not just as a source of scraps. Our granddaughter loved her back just as much. A last rite for all of us. Her final save for a few minutes were spent in that car rather than in the waiting room, relaxed but dying in the familiar, warm and blanketed passenger side foot-well with the missus's right foot as a head rest.

So trusting to the last even in that veterinary's car park. She was too weak to show her usual reluctance to enter the place. She knew. We were reluctant too. She was resolved to it. We had to be too. So was the veterinary who was empathetic and considerate. We thank him for that.

Our other granddaughter will notice her absence as she crawls about in our house on her mission impossible looking for a Tess. How sad no.3 granddaughter due in June won't find Tess returning the looks in her direction.

What she gave us was immeasurable. I hope we gave her something besides her low protein food in return. She is lying now near her mother under the apple tree in our garden, not far from Ginger the cat who she used to love but far enough away in deference to Ginge who didn't always appreciate the attention.

Cliff walks and Cliffe walks will be different. Pubs won't clear as we arrive with the missus having forgotten about a pocketed pooh bag. Don't be harsh. That's the same lady who rearranged Tess' diet and hidden pill to appear as a treat and to keep her on good form just like it says on that tin with the marrowbone jelly.

Enough already. Just a final thank you Tess. You were much appreciated.