Me and B prepare for A

Be warned Cricket Web. French and Aussie Cricket is about to be relaunched, with Me and B visiting your shores in November/ December.  A couple of questions. Have they finished Brisbane yet? They were still building it last time. Is it true that the Gabba stewards are being trained in Iran? One of the tour companies I have been in touch with told me that they used a better class of hotel than the tour company we used last time. Could you tell me where the Aussie team intend to stay in Adelaide in 2010 so we can avoid slumming with them again.  Like some of your innings, and none of your bowlers this is only a quickie, just for u to savour what's to come.  Oh yes, are the Fish and Chips just as good at Sam's place in Glenelg as they were last time, by George? I've attached a picture on a tile of Pontin getting out in Brisbane. It's worth straining your bit of a neck to get a proper look. I'll be ordering a full set of his dismissals from the same artiste, but I won't be feeding the seagulls

Best wishes

Mike K. 

PS. If you want to work out Gravesend Vs' fixtures for 2010 here they are:- 

     We start off, Darling with the first Buds of May at the most haunted village in England. There is a plate to commemorate it, but unfortunately it is in the head of their main bowler. We are yet to get a fixture for the following week. There are 2 possibilities. The first is against Ben William’s uncle’s team on the Isle of Oxney near where we used to play the Gerrybuilders and Geriatrics. The venue is a mixture of James Bond’s boss and the content of his toilet flushings (They can’t all be easy or clean!). The 2^nd possibility for that date or the 31^st July which is the only other Saturday on which we haven’t yet got a fixture is a tour in the direction of Sunrise before a film with an offer you can’t refuse. (No it’s not the Godfather, it’s the one whose namesake hung out with the Argonauts). Of course his Identity is secret, that’s the whole idea of this. None of this town’s teams have confirmed a fixture yet, so the cricket may be of the beach variety. The Ides of May see us where you get a hundred followed by a snobby game of Whist, the bottom line of which is that it is a game for dummies. On the 22^nd of May we play the team that are easy to beat on paper but who always win when you try to cut them up. On May 29^th we are aboard a group of warships sailing after 007’s boss’ successor.

       The first Saturday in June gives us a ride down memory lane on THE WONDER STONE TRAM with a Learner Driver. Fed up already! It’s only the 12^th of June and we are by the sea where we eat the best of oysters pursued by a paid up group of ladies in their final throes of pregnancy. On June 19 we head towards SE London where only felines can cross the stream by paw cojoined with the writings on the wall but like codes and Banksy’s graffitti are written in secret.

     On the last Saturday of June we go near to where ‘Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells’ drinks in ‘The Nevill, Crest and Gun’. It’s the pub opposite the entrance to the ground but it sounds more like a firm of solicitors.

            The first Saturday of July is a repeat of May 15^th. To clarify which team we play as there is more than one team in this town, this particular one has the sort of followers who can help you out if you get lost in a very large wood, and share the skills and crafts of the players of the last fixture of the season.

            Like the BBC the 5ths have a number of repeats. Mike will be spending his birthday where he was on June 5^th. The Pub they go to after the game is ‘The Bush, Blackbird and Thrush’. If the previous pub did remind you of a firm of solicitors what does ‘Bush, Blackbird and Thrush remind you of? You should be ashamed of yourself! All are welcome to the bash at the bush, by the way.

            On Saturday 17^th July we are at the Horticultural Research Station eating rather than blowing raspberries. The following week we are down The Pilgrim’s Way. The opposition like us are a bit over the Hill. Their decline is next to Bluebell ours is more terminal.

            The last Saturday of July is the second date for those yet to be filled in fixtures. Into August then starting with the same Sunrise direction as before whose second part’s namesake is followed by a ground which is always freezing, even though it is no further North than Birmingham.

            You’d get told off if you pronounced this 14^th of August village as it is written. It subsumes next week’s venue (which is where we played on the 17^th of May) together with the 7^th successor to Bond’s boss. So we’re up to the 28^th of August to visit Gordon Brown’s party lot again WITH TABLES on the forecourt.

            It’s September already and we are visiting another Buds of May village, Darling, made from the only place where 007’s boss’ successor might have made love to Miss Moneypenny.

The penultimate week of the season with the kind permission of Gravesend CC means we are not staying in The Shearings Majestic Seafront Hotel as we hope to on tour. That having been said we are more at home with B&B. The opposition as we said before are over the Hill and are not exactly Kent, but we hope they put on a good Kent Show. The following week, the 18^th of August is the last game of the season. It is deep in Robin Hood’s Forest just down the Road where the Maurice boys were brought up.

         What do you mean I’ve got too much time on my hands? It could have been worse, it could have been one of those circular letters that appear about now telling us about little Doris who has just achieved her level nine in her violin exams despite her still being three months away from being born and how her brother Big Dom is considering whether to become a tax exile as he’s done so well in the city where he managed to untie his bonds and shed his investments that they recommended to us in last year’s letter. All this written under gaslight fuelled from a plumbed in cow which has been encouraged to belch methane gas into the central heating boiler by the Australian cricket team’s sledging, good manners and after dinner speaking coach, Sir Leslie Patterson.