Alas poor Cyril, I knew him well.

Poor Cyril indeed. It turned out that he had to be airlifted back to Brisbane hospital with back spasms and wouldn't be fit to rep for the Adelaide Test. We saw the helicopter circling. There were some who did not shed a tear. I knew where they were coming from. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Cyril's strength is that he is tall. You could see him from one end of an airport lounge to the other, and so never miss a gate. I think he fancied the lovely lady with whom he had the last dance. Then again we all did. She proved herself to be lovely in so many ways. Cyril had offered her a place in their taxi to the Brisbane river paddleboat evening meal. She loyally turned the offer down as she had asked me and the boy to go. I told you she was gorgeous. Like the handful of international cricketers we know about we walked. We knew the way. Another guy joined us. He was a librarian with a limp. We had to leg it as we were a little late and Cyril doesn't like late. The librarian with the limp did well to keep up. He was knackered at the end. He didn't complain. Not loudly anyway. He could have done. We wouldn't have told him to be quiet. We were late, and there was a queue to get on board. Cyril homed in on the lovely lady and with us attached she was taken to the front of the gangway. I checked that it was a gangway rather than a gangplank before I set foot away from terra firma. Cyril sat next to the lovely lady.I was landlocked at the far side of the table. The ticket included one free drink. It had to be your first drink and you needed another ticket which we duly got. Not all types of drink were allowed as freebies. I think the Brisbane River Authorities were in charge of ground rules. No drinks arrived so quite naturally I asked what the gorgeous lady and the boy wanted to drink and went up to the bar to get them. It seems as if by this act I caused mayhem and confusion. The beautiful lady's selection was not on the freebie list. I must have given Cyril a drink problem. The waiter seemed to be getting stick. 'I'll sort it Cyril' I said. I'm a deputy head (recently retired) and I'm well used to sorting out difficulties. I do it every day.' I didn't really need to add that last bit, though I did mean it. What I wanted to say was 'Look, it's no big deal, don't let it become an issue. I apologised to the waiter, hoping that my parched throat hadn't got him in trouble. As with all Aussies he wasn't worried. He's had all sorts on board. Later on in the evening I bought Cyril a drink. I'd seen what his free drink was and I got him the same again and put it in front of him. 'Have that on me Cyril' I said. He came up to me later and said 'Thanks for the drink.' I appeciated him saying that, but I didn't let myself break into'Nice one Cyril, nice one son, nice one Cyril, now have another one.' Lucky really as if I'd thought that it was me that had caused him to totter in that last waltz with the gorgeous woman, it would be my conscience that would have been pricked rather than hers, if you excuse the pun made in the last blog about Cyril being stiff. Talking about being pricked, one of the guys managed to resist that request from a lady who must have drunk all those missing free drinks. After disembarking he escorted her to a taxi acting as a perfect gentleman. If it wasn't for him she could have ended up in the drink as well as on it and maybe a disembowelled being as well as being disembarked. Paddle wheels can be as dangerous as other types of waterwheels. What do you mean what do I mean? Look what happened to one of Michael Caine's German soldiers in The Eagle Has Landed. You know, the one with JR Ewing in it and where the bloke in Klute got thrown through the window in the Channel Islands. No not that one!That's the one with Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood! Ask yourself in all conscience would we all have reacted in that honourable way if it had been our pricks that she had designs on? How say you Cyril? How say I? How say you all? As the missus said when she was telling me about the theme of her RE lesson today.'Do unto others as you would be done by.' Now if you like some say Cyril is are up your own arse, I don't want to know.